Yesterday was katrina's bday. We had enormous fun, i was smiling the whole time, laughing even. The food was great! Napakasaya ng gabi na iyon para sa akin, pero habang ako'y nagpapakasaya may isa namang taong nagiisip ng iba o naghihinala sa akin.. feeling nya naglalsing ako, gumagastos ng bonggang bongga at may boyfriend na. To tell you the truth, the said things above are all false. i am not a drukard, i am not a "gastadora" nor am i in a relationship. to make things worst, i was scolded by the time i got back home. now i say to myself, is this really a home? Although i know that she is concerned about my welfare, nafeefeel ko na nakakasakal na ito. hindi mo malaman kung saan ka lulugar, kung saan ka nabibilang, kung saan ka nararapat na pumunta. Marahil ganito ang aking pagiisip dahil sa epekto ng kaguluhan dito sa aking tinitirahan. Ako'y pilit na umiintindi pero di magawang gawin ang aking gusto dahil nauunahan ako ng "pride" or i don't know maybe i'm just a coward. napakaselfish ko. at hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin sa buhay ko... kung anong pagaayos pa ang kinakailangan para mabuo ako.. Tila ako'y mamumuhay ng ganito habang buhay... hay.. pero wag naman sana...

it's been a while

hey blog,yes, it's been a while since i last blogged here. i missed blogging... i've been busy with stuff like work and this site.. --->>> www.asiantwicoven.ning.com
it's really a fun site, it's actually a role-playing site, a twilight saga role playing site. this is where i found my twihard friends. lovely meeting , to tell you the truth, the girls and me met in plurk, i was a fan of their site but before that someone from the site invited me to look at the site. so me being the typical twilight fan peeked at their site... and the rest is history, as they say. *chuckles*


Eclipse is drawing near and the best thing a twihard can do is to buy tickets before it's sold out! :D i bought my ticket yesterday... it's a midnight screening on june 29 which means it's actually june 30 morning... anyway, i'm really excited to see Mr. Jasper Hale on screen. he's the person i'm anticipating to see in this movie franchise, not to forget Doc Cullen! oooh! luscious human beings! *drool*


till here, i'll see you on the Eclipse screening! :D

valentine's dinner date by mistressathenodora featuring Versace dresses

my dream valentine outfit..

i was on my way home when i thought of something.. 

my prof discussed to us in our esthetic's class that people from the early cultures even before the egyptians.. bsta ung mga lumang tao.. na fat is beautiful.. kasi nung time na un malamig ung climate nila.. so sculptors fins fat ladies beautiful...

in our day, fat is somehow perceive as unpleasant to the eyes.. while skinny or sexy is  more appreciated. anyway, naisip ko lang.. cguro kaya natin preferred ang skinny kasi mas mabilis tayong gumalaw kapag skinny tayo. eh diba we are living in a fast paced world? cguro like those people long ago, who preferred fat ladies, gusto natin ung mga bagay na kailangan natin. 

ewan ko ah.. pero nabuo ko lang yan sa isip ko at gusto ko lang ibahagi.. hahaha!!!

anyway, that's all for now.. i'll try to blog more often.. okay?! :D

hello blog. you ask where was i these past few days.. hmm.. well, i was invited for an overnight in katrina's new house in quezon.. they said they wanted help for thesis. since, i'm available, i said i would come.. issues started to brew.. i don't know why but  i have doubts myself.. weird lng kasi.. hmm.. anyway, a new revelation dawned to me.. hmm.. how do i explain this,, hmm.. well, to tell you frankly, i have a difficulty in conversing.. although i'm friendly and cheerful, i find it hard to explain myself fully sometimes.. so sometimes i stutter.. sometimes, i tell people the conclusion of what i'm thinking before telling them what i'm thinking.. that's why my friends says i'm weird.. maybe it's the only child syndrome.. weirdness comes naturally.. hahah!!



other things, blog, i want to share with you.. um.. 
1.well, i found different philosophies in my life... heroes will never be heroes without villains or villainous circumstances. - which is true it's like light will not exist without darkness..


2. i was reading dan brown last week or this week i forgot bsta i just finished reading angels and demons. and although it's fiction, i strongly believe that someday God and science will work together. kasi i think science shows us how measly or how tiny our brains can be compared to the glorious brain of God. parang kaya we have science so that we can see that there is a God that made those things..


3. i have a confession to make... well, my daily devotions were not so daily anymore.. it's like once a week or twice a week na... and it's frustrating to know that i have a cell group to handle. it's so hard to tell them na it's really important to have your devotions daily when i myself don't do it. so, i really hope and pray that God will change my daily pattern and allot a time for him... even if it's for just an hour or 30 minutes. i just really want to talk to him for a while. have a deep conversation with him without any hassles.. it's been a while since i talked to him.. and i really miss him.. so much.. it hurts. it hurts to know that anytime you could talk to him but you can;t because of your selfishness and earthly comforts. it sucks that i won't even give him an hour a day but i give facebooking and plurking tons of hours a week.. it's just sad,.. so sad.. i can;t change it if i don't allow God to change me.. but then again, it's the work of the holy spirit that counts...


4. another confession, once i tried to share God's word to my friends but backed out at the last minute.. i don't know why i chickened out.. and it's such a shame, God has given me opportunity and i just tossed it away.. i tossed it away 3 times.. it's sad isn't it.. now i wonder, will God give me another opportunity?


5. i wonder if i'm really good for my course.. or if i am meant to be in my course... my head seems to function more slowly.. hehe.. 


wow. it seems i'm writing a long blog.. anyway, head's too fuzzy to continue.. imma get some sleep.. see ya later blog.. miss me.. heehee!!!

last blog for 2009

What a way to end the year! hahah! blogging and facebooking! hahhaha!!

i was on a leadership training or retreat on the 29th til today. i got home around 3pm. Fun, is a word i could use to describe retreats but this one was more than fun, rather it's a test of perseverance. why do i say it's a test of perseverance?  for one, we were not prepared physically, sleep-deprived, and we haven't read what we were supposed to have read. with that being said, domino effect occurs. sleep deprivation added to the burden of the sessions, which was tackling the history of Christianity. although i'm a fan of history, my eyes weren't up to the job. 

so here i am, trying to "blog off" my feelings for the extracurricular events happened during our retreat. i'm now in a struggling mode with myself, the things i have learned in the retreat and the things i want to do for the year 2010.


first off, i want to share what i've learned in the retreat. being a leader is serious business. you have to put others before yourself because you know that God wants you to. it's hard considering that you must leave your bubble in order to please a Loving God, but worth trying.  i've realized that what i'm doing in my cell group is not the way God wants me to do, i must thrive for knowledge and wisdom, dig deep through facts and pursue details.
i've been pretty off in my spiritual life last month and this month, and to be honest, i'm not sure if i can pull it up, but i'm sure God can.  so, next year,2010, i'll devote myself in praying for a spiritual climb or any sort of elevation. 


gosh! i must finish this blog before 12midnight, lest the purpose of the last blog in 2009. hahah!


things i should have written left my mind while i was playing facebook. i hope i'll remember them before 2009 ends. haha! but i don't think i will. haha! anyway, i thank God for a pretty eventful year, sad, but inspiring and harsh but hopeful. i'm not proud of the wrong things i've done, so i say sorry to God, but i'm proud of how things turned out after my mistakes, because every mistake i've made added to the things i've learned in 2009. thank God for the people who stood by me. 
i'll spare you the melodrama by stopping here, the fireworks are starting.. so here's to a great 2009, may we have an even better 2010! make room for improvement! woohoo! God bless us!! happy new year! cheers!

i feel so miserable. kanina pumasok nanaman sa isip ko ung pagpapakamatay. i know it's a sign of cowardice pero nakakapagod na eh. di ko na alam gagwin ko sa buhay ko. naguguluhan na utak ko. un gmga kinakapitan ko binibitawan na ako.ung mga gusto ko sana mainitindihan nila ako, napagod na sa kakaintindi. nakakapagod na din kasi eh. palaging ganito nalang.


ang hirap maging mabuti or maging mabait. mas madaling maging masama. 


di ko nanaman alam kung anong isusulat ko kasi hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. ilang beses na akong nakakapagdisapoint ng tao. actually palagi nalang eh. i'm a dissapointment. 


kanina, dapat nagchurch ako, kumain ng lunch with church, at nagpractice with drama team. pero lahat un nauwi sa pagstay ko sa bahay. ang hirap ng compromise. it's either you choose the one side or the other. 


minsan nakakainis isipin ung mga ginagawa mo sa tao na hindi naman sinasadya pero iisipan ka agad nila ng masama. nakakainis din kapag nangyayari sayo ung ginawa mo sa ibang tao. nakakainis din umintindi sa mga taong hindi naman kayang uminti ng iba. sumasakit na ulo ko! 


kaya nga mas masarap matulog eh. at least nandun ka sa mundo mo, walang gagambala sayo. managinip ka man at least controlado parin ng utak mo. magkamali ka man sa panginip mo hindi maapektuhan ang ibang tao. pero pag sa totoong buhay. isang pagkakamali mo lang , iba na tingin sayo ng ibang tao. isang maliit na pagkakamali mo lang ayaw na nila sayo.


sa kaso ko naman, paulit ulit nang pagkakamai ang nagawa ko. nakakpagod na noh? pero wala, ganun talaga ako. kaya nga h indi ako deserving sa mga binigay sakin ng Diyos eh. hindi ako deserving magkaroon ng kaibigan kasi wala naman ako nagagwa para saknila. pabigat lang ako sa mga taong nakapaligid sakin. mabubuhay naman sila ng wala ako. kaya bakit pa ako nandito sa mundo? 


salamat nalang sa mga friends ko namagaling makisama. salamat sa pagtitiyaga. salamat sa pamilya ko na pinagtityagaan ako ng 20 na taon. tip ko lang sainyo, kung pabigat na ako, patayin niyo nalang ako at least di na kayo gagastos ng mas malaki. ok lang sa kin cremation. maski wag nyo na akong iburol diretsong libing na, ok lang un. 


sa bawat halakhak na bitawan ng bunganga ko... isang dagok ng matalim na kutsilyo sa puso ko. 


gulong gulo na utak ko, may tutulong pa ba sakin ngayong alam nyo na ang tunay kong ugali? ngayong nadissapoint na kayo? ngayong  pagod na kayo sa pagiintindi? hopeless na noh? sorry nalng.. sorry nalang din sakin... 
bye

I was browsing through the internet for quotes i'd like to share on my plurk and twitter. first, i searched for quotes on loneliness then for love. ahahah!! it's so cliche. hahaha! a teenager's life full of loneliness and searching for love. hahaha! i know! anyway, i came upon 2 quotes about love... one says,"There isn't any formula or method. You learn to love by loving.- Aldous Huxley"  and the other one is," Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.- Antoine de Saint-Exupery"  The first one I agree, the second one made me think, and also agree that love can't be journeyed by one but two people. they say that it takes two to tango. hahaha! i know, another cliche. 

in my opinion, love is over-rated. teens go gaga for what they think is love but truly, only an infatuation. i don't blame them i was a teen once, so i know how it feels. well, although "over-rated" seems a bit harsh for love, i think it's still over estimated. and i truly think that, we should think that. love is easy to grab but difficult to maintain. when you get married, the true test lies after the ceremony. couples sometimes go out of their focus and peek at their sides. couples, how different they may be from each other, even if the universe is tearing them apart, if they are bonded by God, they must try their hardest to maintain in their relationship, or maintain their focus. for the sake of love's honor. that's why it saddens me when celebrities just marry and divorce after a few weeks or worst! days! 

i don't know why i sudden;y blogged about love and relationships. hmm... life hasn't  been that great for me, a lot of downs and a few ups. my wheel keeps on turning, navigated by the one Whose love never fails me. the world will constantly fail my expectation and will fail to understand me, but Jesus would not ever will fail me. I may fail Him, but He won't, that's why trusting Him must be easy for me. but i am boarding at this world, adapting it's lifestyle, i can drown in doubts and despair, what keeps me sane and alive is God. i don't know how long i must hold on, but all the Christians focus on one thing, the ultimate thing that sets us apart from the world;Jesus Christ and the hope that one day we may be with each other.

okay! here i go again. This is the continuation of my previous blog which was not finished because of my mood swing. hahha!!


My best friends and I went out last Sunday for some catching up and for a review session. my best friends, are going to take up  NMATH, an examinations for those who are going to pursue a career in medicine or those who wants to  be a doctor, that's why they planned a review session. anyway, they were discussing about how would their life be after they've passed the exams. Christianne said that someone told her that if she has any plans of having a family while studying med , she must abandon it. not only is med toxic but also life with it would mean social life devoid. Jawn on the other hand had set her mind in pursuing that career. well, i admire them for doing something to make their dreams possible. Anyway, when i got home, i was thinking of my future and the things i want to pursue. one thing i know i would like to be doing is to pursue a career related to my course. then, i thought of graduate school. i really want to improve my english because i really love and worship that subject. unfortunately, the subject is something that i do well, not pretty well, but just well. i still don't know all the kinks and high faluting words there is but i'm willing to learn them. haha! in my line of possible works, being fluent in english would mean more edge and the possibility of being hired. anyway, what i'm getting at is i want to study after i graduate. weird enough, students like myself would want to settle for a job but i prefer studying more before i plunge into the world full of deviousness and malice. yes, that's what i think of this world. it's full of shit. it's stinking really bad and rotting. 
this entry is a bit personal 'cause it talks about what i want for my future. but i couldn't care less if it does, because i know few people would read this. maybe none at all. hahaha! anyway, back to what i want to do after i graduate... the plans i have would be, 1st, get a job to sustain our daily expenses, then, pay of the debts me and mom has, and then try to save up for a house, not rental but real estate. along with those things, i plan to help achie cherry for shobe's tuition fee. if possible, i would save up for a piano maski upright lang ok na! hahah! then of course, serve God through my career by donating to the church. hhahahah!!! 
they say that money makes the world go round. i say, God does. hehehe. so if it is God 's will for me to achieve all the plans i've made, then good! i just want my life to glorify God to the fullest. 
God bless all the people i know. May God grant us peace and joy throughout our journey in glorifying His name. To God be the glory!

before i do my research on my textile design plate, i'm gonna do my blog first. hehehe!
so, i just thought of pakikisama and pampapaplastik. both has something to do with people... i'm just wondering if there's a real pakikisama nowadays? i mean, some people are really phony, only few can you call genuine friends... this thought i plurked earlier, and a friend of mine said that genuine pakikisama is chill lang, ung nuetral lang at marunong makisakay. well, i agree with him. wala lng just thought of this ridiculous issue. hehehe!

i'm looking forward to our "Paskuhan" in UST. it's campus wide Christmas party for Thomasians. I wonder which bands are going to play. last year Bamboo was our main act and we were at the front row so we really enjoyed his performance. heheh!

so much for an update. hahah! ilang paragraph lng. next time nlng, nawala ung mood ko sa pagblog eh. hahha!!!

random thoughts

i miss you immensely....

sabi ko nga sa plurk.. it's like having a piece of your heart thrown deep into the ocean, with an impossible chance of retrieving it, because you can't swim.

kanina naransan ko na naman ang pagbugso ng aking puso. alam mo ung pakiramdam na parang may mangyayari... pero hindi mo alam kung ano iyon. pagkatapos nun, parang may humawak ng puso mo at unti unting pinipiga habang naalala mo ang taong gusto mong alalahanin... hay, ang hirap intindihin pero iyon ang aking naramdaman kanina...

it's been awhile since i wrote on my blogs... mostly on multiply... i don't know how many people have read my blogs here, but im pretty sure it's few. that's why i like writing here... few people i know can read it.

anyway, my life has been a whirlwind these past months.. we are still financially unstable... my bday was one of the worsts i had, but still am thankful for it. um.. i dropped my thesis and will resume doing it next year of november. i can say im stress free but i am not. hahah! i am having trouble with my sleeping habits. my mom and cousin says i have a sleeping schedule of a call center. hahah! hmmm.. what else? well, i know there's tons to tell but can't remeber them. it's 1:21am on my watch. and though i feel sleepy, i will finish this blog first. hehehe!

i like this guy who doesn't like me. i don't know if he does but for sure i'm not his type. he's a lot older than me and is fluent in english. well, there's my hint. hahah! well, i really like him, but i know it's a temporary like.. hehehe! so much for confessions.. hay... haven't watch new moon... ugh! am dying to see it!!! can't wait for friday!!!

one odd thing about me is the way i act inside the house. i am talkative outside and sometimes be weird in some people's perspective but when i am in our house... i feel the need to be silent. to speak only if or when spoken to.. here in my home, silence can be a comfort, a blanket to keep me warm from the coldness of words and reality. sometimes i wonder when will i ever break the barrier between this house and me? when will the day come when my laughter will not ring of bitterness? i long to hear my family speak of Christ as if He is the only one that's controlling our lives not this mere thing called money. a hopeless wish i guess but i know that one day it will come.. the day when all the enmities between my family members will vanish and be replaced by the peace and grace given by our Merciful Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

til here my faithful blogsite.. till my next emotional outbreak. ha. ha. ha!
rawr!

thesis

who are you?
a name  i can't construe.
a name that rings inside my mind.
a name we can't define.


shattering bliss
endless banter
breaking heart
useless blunder


sore and tired
eyes bloodshot
tears forming
mouth gagging


heavy breathing
some are weeping
some victorious
others cheering


take the challenge
pursue goals
never quit
never tire
never surrender
to a name
will forever remember

useless

yes. i know i'm useless.

don't need to rub salt on my wounds

you don't see it

i'm badly bleeding.

wait till i graduate,

i'll leave this shattered home

go places i have never been.

all the harsh words i have endured.

all the bitterness that intoxicates this tired heart.

they will be burned by the scorching fire of anger

they will turn to ashes

ashes that will be blown away by a single breath

a single breath from the reborn.

grateful though i am

i can't suppress the unwillingness of your generosity

i am a bad child, i know.

just venting out

bitter is the home you have put me.

so bitterness it will produce.

anger due to strife

i long to sleep endlessly

a way of escape

never come back to this bitter state.

chase away my fears and my hopes

chase away my life

life begone, go!

carry me to the place i know

a sanctuary, a happy home.

for difficult seasons

as i read through my devotion today, i came upon a special feature page in "our daily journey 2008". the title is "ten scripture to pray. "

something probe me to write this blog. maybe its appropriate din for the ondoy victims. i just want to share God's word through this blog. and i pray that when you read this blog you may be inspired by the Holy Spirit. if you are an ondoy victim, may you be encourage to live on for Christ and continue to have faith in Him Who is Almighty and Loving.

i may not be good at explaining things verbally, but i hope that through writing i can express my thoughts on God's word.

among the ten scriptures, the ones with comments are my favorites... enjoy God's word... :D

"Trials will come." 1 Peter 4:12-13
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trials when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

~yes. trials will come. some do come in unexpected ways but the best part about trials is that you get to share it with the One who will be with you through all the struggles and sufferings. You are with the One who loves you most, God.

"Trials forge my faith" James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

~some of you may wonder why be joyful in the midst of trials, it's because in trials you see another face of God, you see His overflowing Grace and Love. as the verse says "testing of your faith produces steadfastness."

"Your hand is on the thermostat" 1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptations has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way to escape, that you may be able to endure it.

~ this is one of my favorite verses since high school. No matter what temptation that is, God will provide a way out, it's your choice to grab it or to just let it fly away.

"I can abide under your faithfulness." Psalm 91: 2,4
i will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust" ... and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

~the safest place you can be is in God's arms. no matter where you are, may it be under a devastating typhoon or in the bottom of a pit, rest assured you will be safe when God is your Protector. God works through people and sometimes, you will be amazed at how Good find ways to help you in your troubles.

"I can trust in you when i'm afraid." Psalm 56:3-4

When i am afraid, i put my trust in you. In God, whose word i praise, in God I trust; i shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?

~man can do you harm in the harshest way possible but God can do them worst harm in the ways unthinkable. God can also protect you in ways unfathomable, so put your trust in Him because He loves us.

" Thinking about Jesus' sacrifice brings perseverance." Hebrews 12: 3

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself , so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

"This trial will increase my faith." Matthew 14:30-31

But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

~ to all those who were stranded or houses torn by ondoy... Do not doubt God, it may not be today He answers your prayers but just wait. have faith, never tire. God hears you.

"This trial will teach me how to forgive." Luke 23:24

And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not they do."

~God is merciful to those who ask for forgiveness. He forgives even the worst of all sinners.

"This trial will teach me how not to rely on myslef." 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

"this trial will teach me how to depend on the Holy Spirit." Galatians 2:20

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me, And th life i now live in the flesh i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

the cold-hearted ondoy

grabeh! is all i can say for how ondoy acted in the Philippines. truly its an eye opener. but the question is will it be? i mean for me, it's a realization of how dirty and super polluted the Philippines has become. and it's another reminder of how gracious God is. it reminded me that life is so valuable, you must not take it for granted. savor each moment you have with your family. do not burden yourself with problems, instead face them with the security that you have someone by you side taking every hard beaten step of life.

in times like this, status in life becomes a void. it does not matter if your rich or poor, you are all facing the same calamity and life is life. no amount of money nor power will ever save one except the power God has. it's so sad to know that after all this, people will go back to their old habits, and just put it aside. we are so used to freedom that we take things for granted. we are used to having it our way. that's why mother nature is striking its revenge through these landslides and flood.
someone sent me an email that made think, oo nga noh? do people say thank you to God after receiving their blessings? i know that most of the people who will read this are those fortunate people, who are not having a problem eating or sleeping in today's situation. so i hope you can take time to reflect on God's grace and take this opportunity to thank Him and if it is possible ask Him to use you to reach out to others as well. the more people the better.

so here's the email.. God bless.

BE THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING!

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN
This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen and is so true:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received. '

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, ' This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.. ' I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Acknowledgment Section,'my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed. 'How is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.

'So sad,' the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments. '

'How does one acknowledge God's blessings? ' I asked.

'Simple,' the angel answered. Just say, ' Thank you, Lord. '

'What blessings should they acknowledge? ' I asked.

'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world 's wealthy.'

'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity. '

'If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.'

'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. You are ahead of 700 million people in the world. '

'If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.. '

'If your parents are still alive and still married ..you are very rare. '

'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair.'

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
'Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it. '

If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, how can you not send it on???? I thank God for everything, especially all my family and friends.

hey! another update of new moon!!! hahhaha!!! i got this video from youtube.. i saw this first on mtv awards.. the one with kanye interrupting taylor swift... ha! anyway, let's drop the mtv awards drama and just move on to the new moon trailer! yehey!

if you guys haven't seen the interruption kanye west made.. here it is.. ugh! so disrespectful.. if i were taylor, i'd say something that would imply "in your face kanye" but i can't think of something witty at the moment eh.. hahaha!!!
well, at least taylor was a good sport...





that's all for now.. tons of school work to do... byers! God bless!

new moon update

wah! i got this video on youtube!
jacob black talks about new moon! ooohhh! i really hope this movie turns out well or else! waahhh!it think i might become a jacob black fan after watching this trailer! kristen stuart and taylor lautner looks good together! don't you agree?! hahah! oh well, i wasn't an rpatz fan in the first place. only an edward fan as a matter of fact! hahaha!
anyway, enjoy this video!




and of course! a video of peter facinelli aka Carlisle at the twilight comic con! i'm really a carlisle fan from the start of twilight movie because edward did not passed my expectations. hahaha! anyway, he's so charming the way he flirts with the interviewer! hahaha! and ugh! he's so gorgeous! he fits carlisle perfectly!!!




wah! must watch video of peter facinelli! ahhaha! i was laughing out loud! he's really funny and adorable! hehehe! :P


another funny interview of peter facinelli and jackson rathborne! hahaha! laugh your heads off!

i got this from my email... and i hope it will tug your heartstrings as you read it.



You'll never be the same again after reading this story. It is a MUST READ! Everyone of us has the potential to exceed given the desire and determination to persevere, especially when it is out of love for someone very dear to our hearts.


Robby's Night
True Story Worth Reading !!!



At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a formerelementary school music teacher from Des Moines, Iowa. I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability.. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy, though I have taught some talented students.

However, I've also had my share of what I call 'musically challenged' pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.

But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel but he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, 'My mom's going to hear me play someday.' But it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never stopped in. Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons.

I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the students' homes a flyer on the upcoming recital.. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing. 'Miss Hondorf, I've just got to play!' he insisted.

I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my 'curtain closer.'

Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing and it showed, then Robby came up on stage.... His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. 'Why didn't he dress up like the other students?' I thought.. 'Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?'

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major.. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys; they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age. After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo and everyone was on their feet in wild applause.

Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in joy.
'I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it?'


Through the microphone Robby explained: 'Well, MissHondorf, remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away this morning and well. .. She was born deaf, so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special..'

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I've never had a prodigy, but that night I became a prodigy . .. Of Robby's.. He was the teacher and I was the pupil for it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.
And now, a footnote to the story.
If you are thinking about forwarding this message, you are probably thinking about which people on your address list aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. The person who sent this to you believes that we can all make a difference. So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we act with compassion or do we pass up that opportunity and leave the world a bit colder in the process?

You have two choices now:
1. Delete this.
2. Forward it to the people you care about.

You know the choice I made.
"Thank you" for reading this.

May God bless you today, tomorrow and always.

*********
If God didn't have a purpose for us, we wouldn't be here!

here i go again.

i was listening to this song (you and me by lighthouse) and i got this feeling, a familiar feeling as a matter of fact. a feeling that that i know i felt before. only this time, i can identify it.
i'm not in a relationship right now, if you are wondering how this song appealed to me. it's just that i think i'm beginning to look forward to something, or i'm beginning to hope for something that i know i could never have. it's sad though. i'm a person who lives in the present. i just let the feeling live and if it's time let it go, i'll let go.
here's a poem, i made... inspired... hahah! ewan?!

when i see him, my heart will hammer
when friends talk to me, i'll stutter.
in my mind i know it will never begin,
but in my heart i know that it already did.

i know it's a feeling nothing more,
just blink and wave on its flight
this little feeling will turn its head
someday will look back
but will never walk back again.

and then, there was muse

during my college years i was introduced to a genre i thought i would never liked. guess what genre? rock of course! i thought i would never listen to those punk bands wearing black mascara and sings like they lions in cages. but then college bands brought out the rock genre out of me. i started listening to alternative rock and a few metal.

i must say, a large percent of influence came from the series "one tree hill". ever since fall out boy made a guest appearance in one of their episodes, i started rummaging through one tree hill's playlists and albums. and i'm glad to say i liked most of their tracks.

some of the rock artists i enjoyed were, linkin park, the killers, red jumpsuit apparatus, nickelback, tokyo hotel, kate voegele, jimmy eat world, foo fighters, fall out boy, 30 seconds to mars, the all american rejects, green day, boys like girls, coldplay, the fray, gavin de graw, franz ferdinand, jack's mannequin, kings of leon, paramore, plain white t's, pink, switchfoot, etc..., and of course! muse!


i'm so fond of muse!!! i discovered them through stephenie meyer's twilight.. before the movie got out i was already a fan of muse. they are awesome. although matthew bellamy is an atheist, well, he's still effin' genius!! plus he is freakin' hot!!! hahahah!! i don't know, there is something in his voice that would make you want to squirm and squeal on your seats! ugh! :P hay! british men are so sexy!


anyway, here's a video of their version of "can't take my eyes of you". a good version, i must say... :P
*got this video from youtube.. poor quality i must say.. sorry...