Sunday, January 23, 2011

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I crapped on my thesis

I swear after I graduate, that is IF I graduate, I will buy my own laptop!

As usual, I start my blog with ranting for that is the purpose that I made one. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, imma let 'er rip!

My monitor gave up on me. So I asked my friend for an overnight so that I can use her desktop and finish off my thesis. The sleep over was all right and it did great for my ads. But I am still monitor-less.

I went home with my thesis in my pocket and with a mission to find a monitor. I rang up my good friend from high school who lives 3 blocks away to borrow their monitor which I am to return by 9am in the morning on Monday.

I bought a P950 monitor with a broad back from a surplus computer shop in Gilmore. I worked with it for hours til midnight, then I went off to sleep only to find my CPU not working in the morning. The day could not have been more crappier, right?! 

CPU not working. Thank God my cousin allowed me to borrow her laptop. As soon as I plugged in to the net, i went off searching for Photoshop. Downloading took me the whole afternoon. Monitor crappy, CPU broke and crappy, and now the net is joining their league. What is this day? Bring more crap into Ana's day?! 

Now, I am full of this crappy vibe and I can't get back to my thesis. Only God can help me now. My head is now full of buzzing bees, who whispers "what ifs" and "why".  Why did I do this to myself? 

Thank you blog, I have unloaded some of my crappy feelings here to be archived. 

I am now wondering if I have studied the right course. If I am really meant for Advertising. They say that what fills your mind when you wake up in the morning is the thing you want to do the most. I wake up every morning wishing that my thesis was done. 

I wish I was a gifted writer instead. I really wish that.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

a bad habit of moi

I am supposed to be on photoshop mode but here I am typing away in this blog. This has become a bad habit of mine. Damn you social networking, but I love you anyway! *sigh*

Okay, so I bought a planner last year before Christmas and I am proud to say that I am writing in it! :D Yay! The cute thing about my planner is it's cute! hahaha! It's smaller than the starbucks planner so it's very efficient for me 'cause my bag is always heavy with coins and trash! :P It has a cute design too. It is cute. yes, it is. That is the word for it. Cute. Oh, add in "adorable" too. It's cute and adorable. heehee.

I am blogging because of lack of motivation. My thesis checklist is in front of me and I know what to do with... crumple and tear it to bits! *evil laugh* but no, i'm not going to that. *sigh*
Though I want to. But then, what will happen to my thesis? ugh! theshits!!! 

Lately I have been listening to Bruno Mars. Yes, I've only listened to him after my cousin downloaded some songs on my itunes.  So thanks to her, Bruno Mars has another listener. I specifically like his song "Grenade". It is just so dramatic and emotional. *applause* I think that's a trait of most Filipino singers, or half-blood Filipino, or 1/4 Filipino, whatever, I think that's a trait of most Filipinos, the emotion when they sing. The passion and the story in their songs make people love them. I am not saying that other countries do not sing with passion, i'm just saying that most Filipino bloods have this emotional sting to their songs. err, well, that's just my opinion. :P

What I miss most is the part of my childhood when I don't care what people think and the time when I don't have to think of responsibilities. I miss the part when I wanted to grow up fast and when I wasn't aware of the real world.

And there you go, another episode of my random thoughts. *bows*

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Photo torture

Here I go again with my ranting. 

A photograph. A simple piece of memoir made from a device called camera. It can be heart warming and smile forming but at times it can be devastating. A simple piece can be a very brutal torture. 

A photograph I saw earlier,
Not of me,
Not of her,
But you two together.

I flip, I scan, I grimace
Your photos seem endless. 
I grin, I frown, I grit,
My, my, I could have a fit.

I should be doing something
Instead I'm frowning.
You sure have a way in me,
You bastard, you'll be the death of me.

*exhales* You sure have a way in me, given that I only saw a picture of you together. The sad part is... it is still you

Saturday, January 1, 2011

happy new year?

This is the saddest New year I have experienced. I try to smile and greet everyone a happy new year but my heart cries. I see my family physically together but their thoughts and actions are apart. One tries to mend the broken bond, but the other hesitates. 

Blow the "torotot" to ward of the evil spirits they say, but i blow that thing to release a bit of uneasiness and melancholic emotion inside me. 

I see people smile on the T.V. Are those smiles real? Or do they keep a facade like I do. 

OH, indeed, it is a Happy New Year.