last blog for 2009

What a way to end the year! hahah! blogging and facebooking! hahhaha!!

i was on a leadership training or retreat on the 29th til today. i got home around 3pm. Fun, is a word i could use to describe retreats but this one was more than fun, rather it's a test of perseverance. why do i say it's a test of perseverance?  for one, we were not prepared physically, sleep-deprived, and we haven't read what we were supposed to have read. with that being said, domino effect occurs. sleep deprivation added to the burden of the sessions, which was tackling the history of Christianity. although i'm a fan of history, my eyes weren't up to the job. 

so here i am, trying to "blog off" my feelings for the extracurricular events happened during our retreat. i'm now in a struggling mode with myself, the things i have learned in the retreat and the things i want to do for the year 2010.


first off, i want to share what i've learned in the retreat. being a leader is serious business. you have to put others before yourself because you know that God wants you to. it's hard considering that you must leave your bubble in order to please a Loving God, but worth trying.  i've realized that what i'm doing in my cell group is not the way God wants me to do, i must thrive for knowledge and wisdom, dig deep through facts and pursue details.
i've been pretty off in my spiritual life last month and this month, and to be honest, i'm not sure if i can pull it up, but i'm sure God can.  so, next year,2010, i'll devote myself in praying for a spiritual climb or any sort of elevation. 


gosh! i must finish this blog before 12midnight, lest the purpose of the last blog in 2009. hahah!


things i should have written left my mind while i was playing facebook. i hope i'll remember them before 2009 ends. haha! but i don't think i will. haha! anyway, i thank God for a pretty eventful year, sad, but inspiring and harsh but hopeful. i'm not proud of the wrong things i've done, so i say sorry to God, but i'm proud of how things turned out after my mistakes, because every mistake i've made added to the things i've learned in 2009. thank God for the people who stood by me. 
i'll spare you the melodrama by stopping here, the fireworks are starting.. so here's to a great 2009, may we have an even better 2010! make room for improvement! woohoo! God bless us!! happy new year! cheers!

i feel so miserable. kanina pumasok nanaman sa isip ko ung pagpapakamatay. i know it's a sign of cowardice pero nakakapagod na eh. di ko na alam gagwin ko sa buhay ko. naguguluhan na utak ko. un gmga kinakapitan ko binibitawan na ako.ung mga gusto ko sana mainitindihan nila ako, napagod na sa kakaintindi. nakakapagod na din kasi eh. palaging ganito nalang.


ang hirap maging mabuti or maging mabait. mas madaling maging masama. 


di ko nanaman alam kung anong isusulat ko kasi hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. ilang beses na akong nakakapagdisapoint ng tao. actually palagi nalang eh. i'm a dissapointment. 


kanina, dapat nagchurch ako, kumain ng lunch with church, at nagpractice with drama team. pero lahat un nauwi sa pagstay ko sa bahay. ang hirap ng compromise. it's either you choose the one side or the other. 


minsan nakakainis isipin ung mga ginagawa mo sa tao na hindi naman sinasadya pero iisipan ka agad nila ng masama. nakakainis din kapag nangyayari sayo ung ginawa mo sa ibang tao. nakakainis din umintindi sa mga taong hindi naman kayang uminti ng iba. sumasakit na ulo ko! 


kaya nga mas masarap matulog eh. at least nandun ka sa mundo mo, walang gagambala sayo. managinip ka man at least controlado parin ng utak mo. magkamali ka man sa panginip mo hindi maapektuhan ang ibang tao. pero pag sa totoong buhay. isang pagkakamali mo lang , iba na tingin sayo ng ibang tao. isang maliit na pagkakamali mo lang ayaw na nila sayo.


sa kaso ko naman, paulit ulit nang pagkakamai ang nagawa ko. nakakpagod na noh? pero wala, ganun talaga ako. kaya nga h indi ako deserving sa mga binigay sakin ng Diyos eh. hindi ako deserving magkaroon ng kaibigan kasi wala naman ako nagagwa para saknila. pabigat lang ako sa mga taong nakapaligid sakin. mabubuhay naman sila ng wala ako. kaya bakit pa ako nandito sa mundo? 


salamat nalang sa mga friends ko namagaling makisama. salamat sa pagtitiyaga. salamat sa pamilya ko na pinagtityagaan ako ng 20 na taon. tip ko lang sainyo, kung pabigat na ako, patayin niyo nalang ako at least di na kayo gagastos ng mas malaki. ok lang sa kin cremation. maski wag nyo na akong iburol diretsong libing na, ok lang un. 


sa bawat halakhak na bitawan ng bunganga ko... isang dagok ng matalim na kutsilyo sa puso ko. 


gulong gulo na utak ko, may tutulong pa ba sakin ngayong alam nyo na ang tunay kong ugali? ngayong nadissapoint na kayo? ngayong  pagod na kayo sa pagiintindi? hopeless na noh? sorry nalng.. sorry nalang din sakin... 
bye

I was browsing through the internet for quotes i'd like to share on my plurk and twitter. first, i searched for quotes on loneliness then for love. ahahah!! it's so cliche. hahaha! a teenager's life full of loneliness and searching for love. hahaha! i know! anyway, i came upon 2 quotes about love... one says,"There isn't any formula or method. You learn to love by loving.- Aldous Huxley"  and the other one is," Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.- Antoine de Saint-Exupery"  The first one I agree, the second one made me think, and also agree that love can't be journeyed by one but two people. they say that it takes two to tango. hahaha! i know, another cliche. 

in my opinion, love is over-rated. teens go gaga for what they think is love but truly, only an infatuation. i don't blame them i was a teen once, so i know how it feels. well, although "over-rated" seems a bit harsh for love, i think it's still over estimated. and i truly think that, we should think that. love is easy to grab but difficult to maintain. when you get married, the true test lies after the ceremony. couples sometimes go out of their focus and peek at their sides. couples, how different they may be from each other, even if the universe is tearing them apart, if they are bonded by God, they must try their hardest to maintain in their relationship, or maintain their focus. for the sake of love's honor. that's why it saddens me when celebrities just marry and divorce after a few weeks or worst! days! 

i don't know why i sudden;y blogged about love and relationships. hmm... life hasn't  been that great for me, a lot of downs and a few ups. my wheel keeps on turning, navigated by the one Whose love never fails me. the world will constantly fail my expectation and will fail to understand me, but Jesus would not ever will fail me. I may fail Him, but He won't, that's why trusting Him must be easy for me. but i am boarding at this world, adapting it's lifestyle, i can drown in doubts and despair, what keeps me sane and alive is God. i don't know how long i must hold on, but all the Christians focus on one thing, the ultimate thing that sets us apart from the world;Jesus Christ and the hope that one day we may be with each other.

okay! here i go again. This is the continuation of my previous blog which was not finished because of my mood swing. hahha!!


My best friends and I went out last Sunday for some catching up and for a review session. my best friends, are going to take up  NMATH, an examinations for those who are going to pursue a career in medicine or those who wants to  be a doctor, that's why they planned a review session. anyway, they were discussing about how would their life be after they've passed the exams. Christianne said that someone told her that if she has any plans of having a family while studying med , she must abandon it. not only is med toxic but also life with it would mean social life devoid. Jawn on the other hand had set her mind in pursuing that career. well, i admire them for doing something to make their dreams possible. Anyway, when i got home, i was thinking of my future and the things i want to pursue. one thing i know i would like to be doing is to pursue a career related to my course. then, i thought of graduate school. i really want to improve my english because i really love and worship that subject. unfortunately, the subject is something that i do well, not pretty well, but just well. i still don't know all the kinks and high faluting words there is but i'm willing to learn them. haha! in my line of possible works, being fluent in english would mean more edge and the possibility of being hired. anyway, what i'm getting at is i want to study after i graduate. weird enough, students like myself would want to settle for a job but i prefer studying more before i plunge into the world full of deviousness and malice. yes, that's what i think of this world. it's full of shit. it's stinking really bad and rotting. 
this entry is a bit personal 'cause it talks about what i want for my future. but i couldn't care less if it does, because i know few people would read this. maybe none at all. hahaha! anyway, back to what i want to do after i graduate... the plans i have would be, 1st, get a job to sustain our daily expenses, then, pay of the debts me and mom has, and then try to save up for a house, not rental but real estate. along with those things, i plan to help achie cherry for shobe's tuition fee. if possible, i would save up for a piano maski upright lang ok na! hahah! then of course, serve God through my career by donating to the church. hhahahah!!! 
they say that money makes the world go round. i say, God does. hehehe. so if it is God 's will for me to achieve all the plans i've made, then good! i just want my life to glorify God to the fullest. 
God bless all the people i know. May God grant us peace and joy throughout our journey in glorifying His name. To God be the glory!

before i do my research on my textile design plate, i'm gonna do my blog first. hehehe!
so, i just thought of pakikisama and pampapaplastik. both has something to do with people... i'm just wondering if there's a real pakikisama nowadays? i mean, some people are really phony, only few can you call genuine friends... this thought i plurked earlier, and a friend of mine said that genuine pakikisama is chill lang, ung nuetral lang at marunong makisakay. well, i agree with him. wala lng just thought of this ridiculous issue. hehehe!

i'm looking forward to our "Paskuhan" in UST. it's campus wide Christmas party for Thomasians. I wonder which bands are going to play. last year Bamboo was our main act and we were at the front row so we really enjoyed his performance. heheh!

so much for an update. hahah! ilang paragraph lng. next time nlng, nawala ung mood ko sa pagblog eh. hahha!!!

random thoughts

i miss you immensely....

sabi ko nga sa plurk.. it's like having a piece of your heart thrown deep into the ocean, with an impossible chance of retrieving it, because you can't swim.

kanina naransan ko na naman ang pagbugso ng aking puso. alam mo ung pakiramdam na parang may mangyayari... pero hindi mo alam kung ano iyon. pagkatapos nun, parang may humawak ng puso mo at unti unting pinipiga habang naalala mo ang taong gusto mong alalahanin... hay, ang hirap intindihin pero iyon ang aking naramdaman kanina...

it's been awhile since i wrote on my blogs... mostly on multiply... i don't know how many people have read my blogs here, but im pretty sure it's few. that's why i like writing here... few people i know can read it.

anyway, my life has been a whirlwind these past months.. we are still financially unstable... my bday was one of the worsts i had, but still am thankful for it. um.. i dropped my thesis and will resume doing it next year of november. i can say im stress free but i am not. hahah! i am having trouble with my sleeping habits. my mom and cousin says i have a sleeping schedule of a call center. hahah! hmmm.. what else? well, i know there's tons to tell but can't remeber them. it's 1:21am on my watch. and though i feel sleepy, i will finish this blog first. hehehe!

i like this guy who doesn't like me. i don't know if he does but for sure i'm not his type. he's a lot older than me and is fluent in english. well, there's my hint. hahah! well, i really like him, but i know it's a temporary like.. hehehe! so much for confessions.. hay... haven't watch new moon... ugh! am dying to see it!!! can't wait for friday!!!

one odd thing about me is the way i act inside the house. i am talkative outside and sometimes be weird in some people's perspective but when i am in our house... i feel the need to be silent. to speak only if or when spoken to.. here in my home, silence can be a comfort, a blanket to keep me warm from the coldness of words and reality. sometimes i wonder when will i ever break the barrier between this house and me? when will the day come when my laughter will not ring of bitterness? i long to hear my family speak of Christ as if He is the only one that's controlling our lives not this mere thing called money. a hopeless wish i guess but i know that one day it will come.. the day when all the enmities between my family members will vanish and be replaced by the peace and grace given by our Merciful Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

til here my faithful blogsite.. till my next emotional outbreak. ha. ha. ha!
rawr!

thesis

who are you?
a name  i can't construe.
a name that rings inside my mind.
a name we can't define.


shattering bliss
endless banter
breaking heart
useless blunder


sore and tired
eyes bloodshot
tears forming
mouth gagging


heavy breathing
some are weeping
some victorious
others cheering


take the challenge
pursue goals
never quit
never tire
never surrender
to a name
will forever remember

useless

yes. i know i'm useless.

don't need to rub salt on my wounds

you don't see it

i'm badly bleeding.

wait till i graduate,

i'll leave this shattered home

go places i have never been.

all the harsh words i have endured.

all the bitterness that intoxicates this tired heart.

they will be burned by the scorching fire of anger

they will turn to ashes

ashes that will be blown away by a single breath

a single breath from the reborn.

grateful though i am

i can't suppress the unwillingness of your generosity

i am a bad child, i know.

just venting out

bitter is the home you have put me.

so bitterness it will produce.

anger due to strife

i long to sleep endlessly

a way of escape

never come back to this bitter state.

chase away my fears and my hopes

chase away my life

life begone, go!

carry me to the place i know

a sanctuary, a happy home.

for difficult seasons

as i read through my devotion today, i came upon a special feature page in "our daily journey 2008". the title is "ten scripture to pray. "

something probe me to write this blog. maybe its appropriate din for the ondoy victims. i just want to share God's word through this blog. and i pray that when you read this blog you may be inspired by the Holy Spirit. if you are an ondoy victim, may you be encourage to live on for Christ and continue to have faith in Him Who is Almighty and Loving.

i may not be good at explaining things verbally, but i hope that through writing i can express my thoughts on God's word.

among the ten scriptures, the ones with comments are my favorites... enjoy God's word... :D

"Trials will come." 1 Peter 4:12-13
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trials when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

~yes. trials will come. some do come in unexpected ways but the best part about trials is that you get to share it with the One who will be with you through all the struggles and sufferings. You are with the One who loves you most, God.

"Trials forge my faith" James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

~some of you may wonder why be joyful in the midst of trials, it's because in trials you see another face of God, you see His overflowing Grace and Love. as the verse says "testing of your faith produces steadfastness."

"Your hand is on the thermostat" 1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptations has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way to escape, that you may be able to endure it.

~ this is one of my favorite verses since high school. No matter what temptation that is, God will provide a way out, it's your choice to grab it or to just let it fly away.

"I can abide under your faithfulness." Psalm 91: 2,4
i will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust" ... and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

~the safest place you can be is in God's arms. no matter where you are, may it be under a devastating typhoon or in the bottom of a pit, rest assured you will be safe when God is your Protector. God works through people and sometimes, you will be amazed at how Good find ways to help you in your troubles.

"I can trust in you when i'm afraid." Psalm 56:3-4

When i am afraid, i put my trust in you. In God, whose word i praise, in God I trust; i shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?

~man can do you harm in the harshest way possible but God can do them worst harm in the ways unthinkable. God can also protect you in ways unfathomable, so put your trust in Him because He loves us.

" Thinking about Jesus' sacrifice brings perseverance." Hebrews 12: 3

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself , so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

"This trial will increase my faith." Matthew 14:30-31

But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

~ to all those who were stranded or houses torn by ondoy... Do not doubt God, it may not be today He answers your prayers but just wait. have faith, never tire. God hears you.

"This trial will teach me how to forgive." Luke 23:24

And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not they do."

~God is merciful to those who ask for forgiveness. He forgives even the worst of all sinners.

"This trial will teach me how not to rely on myslef." 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

"this trial will teach me how to depend on the Holy Spirit." Galatians 2:20

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me, And th life i now live in the flesh i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

the cold-hearted ondoy

grabeh! is all i can say for how ondoy acted in the Philippines. truly its an eye opener. but the question is will it be? i mean for me, it's a realization of how dirty and super polluted the Philippines has become. and it's another reminder of how gracious God is. it reminded me that life is so valuable, you must not take it for granted. savor each moment you have with your family. do not burden yourself with problems, instead face them with the security that you have someone by you side taking every hard beaten step of life.

in times like this, status in life becomes a void. it does not matter if your rich or poor, you are all facing the same calamity and life is life. no amount of money nor power will ever save one except the power God has. it's so sad to know that after all this, people will go back to their old habits, and just put it aside. we are so used to freedom that we take things for granted. we are used to having it our way. that's why mother nature is striking its revenge through these landslides and flood.
someone sent me an email that made think, oo nga noh? do people say thank you to God after receiving their blessings? i know that most of the people who will read this are those fortunate people, who are not having a problem eating or sleeping in today's situation. so i hope you can take time to reflect on God's grace and take this opportunity to thank Him and if it is possible ask Him to use you to reach out to others as well. the more people the better.

so here's the email.. God bless.

BE THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING!

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN
This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen and is so true:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received. '

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, ' This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.. ' I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Acknowledgment Section,'my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed. 'How is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.

'So sad,' the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments. '

'How does one acknowledge God's blessings? ' I asked.

'Simple,' the angel answered. Just say, ' Thank you, Lord. '

'What blessings should they acknowledge? ' I asked.

'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world 's wealthy.'

'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity. '

'If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.'

'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. You are ahead of 700 million people in the world. '

'If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.. '

'If your parents are still alive and still married ..you are very rare. '

'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair.'

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
'Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it. '

If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, how can you not send it on???? I thank God for everything, especially all my family and friends.

hey! another update of new moon!!! hahhaha!!! i got this video from youtube.. i saw this first on mtv awards.. the one with kanye interrupting taylor swift... ha! anyway, let's drop the mtv awards drama and just move on to the new moon trailer! yehey!

if you guys haven't seen the interruption kanye west made.. here it is.. ugh! so disrespectful.. if i were taylor, i'd say something that would imply "in your face kanye" but i can't think of something witty at the moment eh.. hahaha!!!
well, at least taylor was a good sport...





that's all for now.. tons of school work to do... byers! God bless!

new moon update

wah! i got this video on youtube!
jacob black talks about new moon! ooohhh! i really hope this movie turns out well or else! waahhh!it think i might become a jacob black fan after watching this trailer! kristen stuart and taylor lautner looks good together! don't you agree?! hahah! oh well, i wasn't an rpatz fan in the first place. only an edward fan as a matter of fact! hahaha!
anyway, enjoy this video!




and of course! a video of peter facinelli aka Carlisle at the twilight comic con! i'm really a carlisle fan from the start of twilight movie because edward did not passed my expectations. hahaha! anyway, he's so charming the way he flirts with the interviewer! hahaha! and ugh! he's so gorgeous! he fits carlisle perfectly!!!




wah! must watch video of peter facinelli! ahhaha! i was laughing out loud! he's really funny and adorable! hehehe! :P


another funny interview of peter facinelli and jackson rathborne! hahaha! laugh your heads off!

i got this from my email... and i hope it will tug your heartstrings as you read it.



You'll never be the same again after reading this story. It is a MUST READ! Everyone of us has the potential to exceed given the desire and determination to persevere, especially when it is out of love for someone very dear to our hearts.


Robby's Night
True Story Worth Reading !!!



At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a formerelementary school music teacher from Des Moines, Iowa. I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability.. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy, though I have taught some talented students.

However, I've also had my share of what I call 'musically challenged' pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.

But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel but he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, 'My mom's going to hear me play someday.' But it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never stopped in. Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons.

I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the students' homes a flyer on the upcoming recital.. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing. 'Miss Hondorf, I've just got to play!' he insisted.

I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my 'curtain closer.'

Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing and it showed, then Robby came up on stage.... His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. 'Why didn't he dress up like the other students?' I thought.. 'Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?'

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major.. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys; they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age. After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo and everyone was on their feet in wild applause.

Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in joy.
'I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it?'


Through the microphone Robby explained: 'Well, MissHondorf, remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away this morning and well. .. She was born deaf, so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special..'

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I've never had a prodigy, but that night I became a prodigy . .. Of Robby's.. He was the teacher and I was the pupil for it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.
And now, a footnote to the story.
If you are thinking about forwarding this message, you are probably thinking about which people on your address list aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. The person who sent this to you believes that we can all make a difference. So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we act with compassion or do we pass up that opportunity and leave the world a bit colder in the process?

You have two choices now:
1. Delete this.
2. Forward it to the people you care about.

You know the choice I made.
"Thank you" for reading this.

May God bless you today, tomorrow and always.

*********
If God didn't have a purpose for us, we wouldn't be here!

here i go again.

i was listening to this song (you and me by lighthouse) and i got this feeling, a familiar feeling as a matter of fact. a feeling that that i know i felt before. only this time, i can identify it.
i'm not in a relationship right now, if you are wondering how this song appealed to me. it's just that i think i'm beginning to look forward to something, or i'm beginning to hope for something that i know i could never have. it's sad though. i'm a person who lives in the present. i just let the feeling live and if it's time let it go, i'll let go.
here's a poem, i made... inspired... hahah! ewan?!

when i see him, my heart will hammer
when friends talk to me, i'll stutter.
in my mind i know it will never begin,
but in my heart i know that it already did.

i know it's a feeling nothing more,
just blink and wave on its flight
this little feeling will turn its head
someday will look back
but will never walk back again.

and then, there was muse

during my college years i was introduced to a genre i thought i would never liked. guess what genre? rock of course! i thought i would never listen to those punk bands wearing black mascara and sings like they lions in cages. but then college bands brought out the rock genre out of me. i started listening to alternative rock and a few metal.

i must say, a large percent of influence came from the series "one tree hill". ever since fall out boy made a guest appearance in one of their episodes, i started rummaging through one tree hill's playlists and albums. and i'm glad to say i liked most of their tracks.

some of the rock artists i enjoyed were, linkin park, the killers, red jumpsuit apparatus, nickelback, tokyo hotel, kate voegele, jimmy eat world, foo fighters, fall out boy, 30 seconds to mars, the all american rejects, green day, boys like girls, coldplay, the fray, gavin de graw, franz ferdinand, jack's mannequin, kings of leon, paramore, plain white t's, pink, switchfoot, etc..., and of course! muse!


i'm so fond of muse!!! i discovered them through stephenie meyer's twilight.. before the movie got out i was already a fan of muse. they are awesome. although matthew bellamy is an atheist, well, he's still effin' genius!! plus he is freakin' hot!!! hahahah!! i don't know, there is something in his voice that would make you want to squirm and squeal on your seats! ugh! :P hay! british men are so sexy!


anyway, here's a video of their version of "can't take my eyes of you". a good version, i must say... :P
*got this video from youtube.. poor quality i must say.. sorry...

Rizal's noli to be translated in english?!

while i was researching for my thesis, i saw this article. it talks about how rizal's work is going to be translated in english for the aussies and, check this out, rizal has a total of six landmarks in australia!!!

btw, this article is 2 years old...

Rizal's Noli hits major Aussie book shelves

08/22/2007 | 12:06 AM

The next time you visit a bookstore in the "land down under," you may want to stop by the aisle where Charles Dickens’ “Great Expectations" or Jane Austen’s “Persuasion" is placed.

Don't be surprised to find a new 480-page English translation of Jose Rizal’s Noli Me Tangere sharing the same shelf space with other literary greats in several major bookstores in Australia.

Philippine Consul General Maria Theresa Lazaro reported to the Department of Foreign Affairs from Sydney that the latest English translation of Noli is now being sold in Sydney's bookstores.

Penguin Books Classics executive editor, Elda Rotor, said that the publication of Rizal’s acclaimed novel “represents Penguin’s commitment to publish the major literary classics of the world."

This is also the first instance that the said publishing company released a Southeast Asian book under its well-known banner.

Among the notable literary classics that Penguin has published is the controversial American novel, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, which interestingly, inspired Rizal’s very own Noli.

The Australian edition of the novel was translated by Harold Augenbraum, and is geared to suit contemporary American English, according to Penguin Classics.

The American writer who is currently the executive director of the National Book Foundation and the National Book Awards first got hold of Noli in 1992.

Augenbraum was so fascinated by the story, that he read Rizal’s sequel, El Filibusterismo.

Being very well acquainted with translating other Latin literary works, Augenbraum immediately proposed to translate Noli when Penguin asked him to choose his next assignment.

Penguin was initially intrigued about the novel albeit clueless on the broad influence it gave to Filipino revolutionists in the late 1800s.

But after knowing more about it they decided to drop the plans of adapting an existing English-language translation (“The Social Cancer") and became determined to have a new translation.

Almost ‘untouchable’

Noli Me Tangere is a Latin version of the words spoken, according to the Gospel of John, by Jesus to Mary Magdalene, meaning "don't touch me."

And Augenbraum agreed that Rizal’s novel was almost “untouchable," in terms of the relative difficulty of translating the original Spanish text to English.

“The harder part was to compile the notes that would explain the many, many religious and cultural references Rizal used," Augenbraum said. “The US is not steeped in the Catholic faith and many Americans will probably be reading about the Philippines for the first time."

The American editor further emphasized the importance of Asian-Americans to read Rizal’s classic as well as teaching the literature in US colleges. He also added that the story is dogmatic and should be classified as fiction.

“In my introduction to the Noli, I discuss Rizal becoming a sort of ‘santo’ in the Filipino diaspora, no longer a real personage, and I question whether he ever really was a real person, since he saw himself as part of Philippine narrative history and acted accordingly. Although some people have compared Rizal to (19th-century Cuban writer and patriot) Jose Marti, Marti has never attained the supernatural status of Rizal," Augenbraum explained.

Meanwhile, Penguin Classics reiterated the importance of the novel in World literature.

“(It) was the first major artistic manifestation of Asian resistance to European colonialism, and Rizal became a guiding conscience—and martyr—for the revolution that would subsequently rise up in the Spanish province," the book’s blurb read.

‘Noli’ with ‘Aussies’

Philippine Consul General to Sydney Maria Theresa Lazaro expressed her appreciation to the international publishing company for the release of Rizal’s masterpiece in the Australian market.

In a letter to Penguin Classics, Lazaro said on behalf of the Philippine government, that the publication of Noli "would be very much welcomed by the now 160,000 Filipino-Australians as a lasting tribute to the Philippine national hero."

"The availability of the Noli to the broader Australian audience grants Dr. Rizal with the long overdue recognition as a world-class writer alongside his contemporaries Leo Tolstoy, Rabindranath Tagore and Mahatma Gandhi," Lazaro added.

Lazaro went further by saying, “The Noli provides a very helpful glimpse into a specific period of Philippine history, and is an invaluable piece of literature that I hope future generations of Filipino-Australians would be able to appreciate."

While Rizal never set foot on this land famous for its koalas and kangaroos, it is little-known that he has a total of six landmarks in Australia.

About three Rizal Parks are situated in Campbelltown and Blacktown in the State of New South Wales as well as one in the City of Ballarat in the State of Victoria.

The Philippine national hero also has a bust in Sydney’s Central Train Station, a statue in Ashfield and a street named in honor of him in Campbelltown. - Mark J. Ubalde, GMANews.TV

want to read the english version of noli me tangere? click here.

quiting facebook?

nah. not totally. but i'll tune in with moderation. well, recently, i noticed myself getting addicted with facebook and its games. it's kinda addictive diba?! oh,don't shake your head on me.. i know you did get addictied with it, in some way or the other... hahha!

i'm listening to vilma right now... (as if may relevance sya sa blog ko) hahaha! wala lng.. just thinking that she's one of the respected artists in Philippines' and she's really a decent one. i mean entering politics is a big leap for an artist. once you get into it, you can't help but get dirty and grimy because of the way how they handle politics. but there's something about her that makes you think, "no, she can be affected in some ways but she's truly an honorable woman" i mean, look at what she have done in lipa batangas.

anyway, back to my blog. someone made me realize that i'm not spending my time right. and it startled me, that i did wasted my time... and it's so effin stupid o fme to not realize it sooner! hay! at least i now know.. so... i'm moving away from facebook. maybe i'll visit once in a while... but not so much na.. hahah! so un.

but! i'll keep this blog alive. well for one reason, it keeps me sane cause it's a release for me to have my emotions poured out in blogs. even if my grammar's not that good or precise, i can keep a blog parin namn dba?! another reason is, yes, for the development of my writing. i really want to pursue a course on literature. i don't know if this is only my desire for now, i don't know if this will last long. but one thing i know, i love literature. yes. i love reading. words keep people alive. see how people in the bible are made alive by God's inspired words. i know God made us alive but apart from the people He used, He allowed words to be an instrument in His ministry. He allowed words to live through time so that we could see life before our time. He made these words so that He could establish His immortality or His glory to people from our history. these words were made to be used in glorifying His name. Words are God's beautiful and amazing invention for communication and expression. Words are God' given gift to us. words can be described with so much words that words won't be enough. hahaha!


till here my friends... got loads of work to do.. heehee! see yah! :P

new moon news update

and now for some new moon controversy...



oooh!!! i like michael copon! he's the one who brooke (one tree hill) hooked up with in season 2 of one tree hill and considered their relationship as "friends with benefits". he's also in the 4th "bring it on"




he's hot!! if i rate him and taylor lautner based on on-screen appearance i think it will be tie. they both are great actors, they both have fabulous abs. but i like michael copon better, 'cause i saw him first before i saw taylor doing "shark boy" and he delivered his character well in one tree hill. too bad his character ends in season 2. he's gorgeous but i think taylor already grasp the identity of jacob, so it's fine!

i just hope michael copon has more movies.. you know.. he's just so mouthwateringly gorgeous!!!

* videos from youtube and pictures from google

happy birthday harry potter!

yey!!! happy birthday harry potter!! yahoo!!!
to celebrate harry potter's birthday i'm going to put videos and updates i can gather here in my blog! hahaha!





i really like daniel radcliffe, he's not awkward when talking to the camera live. unlike robert pattinson, he's more confident in interviews and doesn't play with his hair that much...



gosh! i love their british accents! so sexy!! ugh!!!

now, for the final installment of harry potter, the deathly hallows, part one will be released in november 2010 and part 2 will be released six months later. wah! yes, harry potter fans, we're going to watch out for these two movies. i hope mr. yates could satisfy our harry potter hunger before then... well, better watch out for sneak peeks and trailers.

anyway, let's see what mr. yates is planning to do int he last harry potter installment... check out his interview with julian sancton in vanity fair...

Q&A: Harry Potter Director David Yates Talks Deathly Hallows

by Julian Sancton

July 23, 2009, 5:30 PM

Movie Magic David Yates, far right, directs Michael Gambon as Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

For a while there, the Harry Potter films were shaping up to be the next Alien franchise: one hip director after the next taking up the relay, reinterpreting the source material, and making it his own. But like a bright young thing who dates around in her early, adventurous days—leaping from a successful Hollywood director (Chris Columbus) to a refined Englishman (Mike Newell), to a dangerous, swarthy Mexican (Alfonso Cuarón)—the franchise eventually found the man it wants to spend the rest of its life with: David Yates. Mama Rowling approves. After all, Yates is an honest-to-Hogwarts Potter fan, has the soft and lilting voice of a bedside storyteller, and he’s a nice British boy, so it’s keeping it in the family.

Yates, who cut his teeth directing hit miniseries for British television, had little experience directing feature films before being entrusted with the last two films of the multi-billion-dollar franchise. As the record-breaking success of the current film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, reveals, Warner Bros. have made good on their bet. After Yates puts out the last two installments, he will be the director must identified with the series. Currently filming Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Yates spoke to VF Daily about his awesome responsibility, both to the fans and to the studio.

Julian Sancton: First of all congratulations on your success. It looks as if you have been given the thumbs up. Are you relieved?

David Yates: Yes of course. It was terrific. It’s quite nerve-wracking. You never want to be the director who dropped the ball, you know? It’s a very curious experience because we finished the film a while ago and we are still in the thick of doing the next two parts. We’ve moved on quite a bit from where we were with it. It’s lovely that people are so positive. It’s lovely the box office is so exciting and all of that. But I had to sew in the next stage of this journey so it’s a really odd feeling.

I would imagine, because you are already thinking of Harry in a different way and you are already invested in a different part of the story.

Completely. And the characters are getting older, the actors are getting older, and we leave Hogwarts behind in the next movie. We always say—I did it on [installment] five, I did it on [installment] 6—“Oh these films are growing up. They’re getting darker.” That really does feel the case when you leave the school behind and you are outside in the real world. It’s a very different dynamic. It’s really exciting actually.

Why did you and Warners decide to split the last installment, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into two parts?

Three reasons. One is it’s a huge book so there’s so much stuff in it. You go through the list of things you want to put in the movie and there’s so many huge set pieces that by the time you get to the end of it you kind of go, “Whoa this would be the most expensive movie of all time.” Far more expensive than any conventional blockbuster. You have to find a way of somehow keeping all the things you want to do, so it is easy to split it across two films. [Screenwriter] Steve Kloves was working on the adaptation as we were shooting Half-Blood Prince and he just rounded us up and said, “Look guys I am having a real problem stuffing this story into two-and-a-half hours. I think narratively this might suit two parts.” There was that. I get frustrated when fans say, ‘Why didn’t you put this in or put that in?’ So it was a combination of the adaptation process and the fact that I just want to give the audience everything we can from the book, basically.

It also gives the fans something else to look forward to because the books ended so abruptly for people.

It’s nice because we are having such a fun time doing these stories. It’s kind of hard. You just want to enjoy the journey basically and that’s what we will do with Hallows.

You are the steward of a work that is terribly important to millions of people. How do you balance the expectations of devoted fans and those of Harry Potter neophytes?

Well, you just do your very best. I’m a Harry Potter fan. Everyone who is working on this screenplay and the films is. I’m surrounded by Harry Potter fans every day. So we try our best to realize the spirit of the world. At the end of the day, I have to please that Potter audience but I’ve also got to balance that with people who may have never read one of these books. It’s a very difficult juggling act but you just do your very best to make the film as in-the-moment as possible and you have to make certain choices, which are difficult at times, which just make that adaptation fit more into that cinematic experience in the theater.

Can you give me an example of a particularly difficult choice you had to make in this last film?

One of the things we did was we added a sequence in the middle of the movie—the sequence in the reeds when death eaters try and attack Harry—and that sequence never existed in the book. In one sense it seems mad to add something to Jo’s [read: J.K. Rowling’s] world and Jo’s book. It’s already full of pretty rich, fantastic stuff—why on earth would you add anything? But in the sort of two-and-a-half hour structure of a screenplay there was a lack of a sense of jeopardy from the outside. We were in all these romantic entanglements and I needed to audience to be reminded of what the threat was from the outside world. Jo talks about those things in the background in the book but halfway through our book we needed our audience in the theater to be aware of them and to experience them. So we added a sequence that didn’t existed in the book but was there, I guess, in spirit because it was happening beyond Hogwarts.

...

Why do you think this is the movie to be setting all the records? Why this one out of all the films?

My theory is, these movies were conceived as children’s movies, ultimately, earlier on. There was a demographic that may have found that a bit of turn off. It still reached one of the biggest segments possible: the family audience. I think what is happening is, as they get older and the material gets a bit darker and it gets a bit more complicated and gets a bit edgier and gets a bit realer, it all starts to get a bit cooler. I think that starts to bring in a whole new demographic. It starts to bring a whole new bunch of people who don’t perceive it so much as a kid’s film any more. That’s one possibility. The other fact is Jo’s books are capturing an audience all the time because people have been growing up with the books and they read it to their kids so you’ve got this endless cycle of kids coming to the material. I think there are several reasons. I also just think there hasn’t been a [new] book so and we’ve all been missing that, so the film kind of fills that vacuum a little bit. There is a real nostalgia for the world.

How much creative leeway do you allow yourself? Do you ever miss the experimentation that you were allowed to have on TV?

I experiment plenty on these films. I have exactly the same freedoms and take the same liberties and make the same choices and try things all the time. I am serving the story. That’s what I’ve always tried to do, first and foremost. The studio was pretty hands-off and generally quite supportive. They recognize we just get on with it. They are there with notes in the final stage of the process when were finally getting the film ready for the audience even then they are really supportive and respectful. I think you will find the next film quite a departure from the sixth film.

Why?

It’s just edgier. It’s a little rawer. It’s more contemporary. It feels more modern. Shooting in the way we’ve been shooting, doing a lot of hand-held camera work, all that stuff, I’ve never got a call from the studio. They just phone up or email and say we love the dailies even though I am doing things that feel very not Harry Potter. So I feel I have a freedom and the elbowroom to do what I feel the story requires.

So you’re hearkening back to your gritty days of State of Play?

Yeah, indeed. In Harry Potter Seven, part One, very much so. But, of course, Hallows part Two brings that fantasy world back in full cinemascope. It’s full of dragons, and big wizard battles, and magic. To keep the thing interesting for me as a filmmaker, I want to serve the wonderful stories Jo has given us but I need to move it around a bit. I can’t feel that I am making the same film. Tonally, I need to shake it up a bit. Like Half-Blood Prince had a lot more humor in it than Order of the Phoenix and that was important for me, and I think it was important for the audience to not get the same journey. And Hallows part One will feel very different than Half-Blood Prince.

...

You‘ll have directed the most number of Harry Potter movies. How do you feel about being identified so strongly with the franchise?

I’m really cool about that. It sort of raises the bar somewhat when I leave Potter and I move on and start doing other stuff. It will be a challenge, I think, because there are so many things I want to do after Potter. I’m not wishing it away because I’m having such a great time doing this films, it’s a real privilege, its so much fun. I enjoy the people. I’m just looking forward to lots of stuff afterward.

...

some q&a has been replaced by an (...) for more info about this article go to
http://www.vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2009/07/qa-harry-potter-director-david-yates-talks-deathly-hallows.html


more on david yates talking about harry potter...


now let's hear what daniel has to say about deathly hallows... brace yourselves... :P




for rupert grint fans(looking at francis), here's "won-won" talking about harry potter... imust admit, he looks better now than he did in the last harry potter movie. (grin)


and now here's "won-won's" love interest... :P oohh! she's all grown up now... and she's stunning! she's going to have kissing scenes with won-won. it's funny, how they feel when they kiss their co-stars/friends. haha!



due to lack of time and tired eyes, i must pause from this blog so please wait for further updates. haha!

before i end this blog, let's raise our butterbeers and wine mead to the harry potter franchise and j.k. rowling who gave us this undoubtly wonderful series of magical experience!
cheers!

these are sneak peeks from new moon... i really wish november could come sooner! wah!!!



this scene is somewhat creepy, look at how edward apparates (term from harry potter). he's like a ghost! but a freakin' gorgeous one!

i must say that i like jacob better when he has short hair. he looks smelly in this scene... oh well, disregard his smelliness he's still hot no matter what!!! yihee!

i'm just curious... if bella rides a bike would she still have an accident? considering that she's trouble magnet... hahahahha!! just random thoughts... :P


*videos from youtube. nothing i own.

i know you guys saw the new moon trailer... those who haven't well, boo you! grab this chance and watch it! :P



spectacular!!! i watched this several times already and all i was waiting for was jacob's abs!!! ha! you too right?! well, his body certainly fit jacob's description in the book and it certainly exceeded my expectations! let's see how these two supernatural boys (edward and jacob) fare out when they flaunt their bodies in new moon!!!


i know we all are wishing for november to come....


*video from youtube
*pictures from google

why???

why do i waste my time social networking??? why?
it's been my weakness ever since we had dsl... it's so tempting... i mean, instead of doing my homeworks and plates, i go to facebook or plurk. hay, when will i ever stop???

wla lng, just sharing.. hehehe! hay naku... wag na nga muna mag internet! gawa muna plates!! ana! gawa muna plates!!! raarr!!

weird ko no, kinakausap ko sarili ko.. hahah! well, ganyan tlga ako. weird.. hahah! :P

cge, till next blog nlng... raarrr!

quotes from one tree hill

my friends know that i love one tree hill.. so if you don't know that.. well, you are not my friend.. hahaha! kidding!
as part of my blog tradition, i will put up quotes from one tree hill... BTW, my "blog tradition" is putting/ posting up quotes from one tree hill and other quotes that served as an inspiration or quotes that i like. hahaha!

so here it goes.. some quotes from one tree hill... :P
but i think it's from season 2...

EPISODE #222 · THE TIDE THAT LEFT AND NEVER CAME BACK

"There are two tragedies in life: one is to lose your heart's desire, the other is to gain it." -- George Bernard Shaw

Brooke: "George Bernard Shaw once wrote; 'There are two tragedies in life: one is to lose your heart's desire, the other is to gain it.' Clearly, Shaw had his heart broken once or twice."

Nathan: "As far as I’m concerned, Shaw was a punk! 'Cause you know what? Tragedies happen. What're you gonna do, give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive. 'Cause you are, and that pain you feel: it's life. The confusion and fear.. that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better. And that something is worth fighting for."

Haley: "This year, I got everything I wanted and everything I wished for.. but, in a way, I lost even more."

Lucas: "Shaw was right: as we strain to grasp the things we desire, the things we think will make our lives better: money, popularity, fame... we ignore what truly matters -- the simple things: like friendship, family, love. The things we probably already had."

Mouth: "So, Mr. Shaw thinks that getting your hearts desire is a tragedy? I say he’s wrong. I mean, clearly, Shaw never kissed Erica Marsh."

Peyton: "Yeah, losing your heart’s desire is tragic. But gaining your heart’s desire... It’s all you can hope for. This year, I wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic… then give me tragedy. Because, I wouldn’t give it back for the world."

EPISODE #311 · RETURN OF THE FUTURE

Lucas (to Karen): "...if you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody, well you'll always find them, and I guess at some point you should let go and give your heart what it deserves."


EPISODE #312 · I'VE GOT DREAMS TO REMEMBER

Ellie: "Every song has a CODA, a final movement. Whether it fades out or crashes away. Every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music? The truth is, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's just life."

The reason why i smile

This entry was from my previous multiply blogs.. i just felt that it should be here considering that it's one of my favorites..

THE REASON WHY I SMILE

Did you ever wonder why I smile even if I’m so distressed?

Well, my answer is simple.

It makes you fine-looking or rather attractive… don’t you think?

Funny huh?

But really, it’s true.

Well, when you laugh or frown, you add a wrinkle on your face. Am I right?

Wrinkle is a sign of aging.

But it is also a sign that you lived in this chaotic world.

It’s not awful to live in this world.

But would you rather let your wrinkle indicate you lived a harsh and frantic life

Or a blissful and immensely fruitful life?

Think…

Think carefully…

Me?

I’d rather let my wrinkle tell the world that I am contented and have led a cheerful life.

It’s not about being joyous in times of despair but it’s a matter of accepting that you have fallen and your willful spirit of dusting your self up.

Another reason why I smile is

I am hoping that even with an insignificant grin I could light up another being.

I smile because I want the world to know that there are good things in life.

I smile because I know that I have lived a LIFE.