It’s 12:18am and I’m feeling blue.

I’m scared of love and heartbreaks. They say that love and pain come hand in hand, just as joy and sadness. Why is it that when you open yourself to someone you make yourself vulnerable?

It’s 12:23am and I’m still feeling blue.

One of the reason is you.

I can’t get you out of my head. I see you in the little things and it scares me. I’m afraid that if you hurt me I’ll close my doors again and I will make myself feel numb. I don’t want that anymore. I’m tired.

I’m tired of building walls. I’m tired of people leaving… my heart is sore from these heartaches and I’m tired of forgetting God’s promises. I’m tired of failing Him. I want the best for Him but this is all I’ve got… a battered and bruised heart.

My fervent prayer is that I see Him every second of the day, that I may not sway from His Word, and that I may enjoy Him daily, so that my heart will have no choice but shine for Him.