The first time I heard the song “Blessings” by Laura Story, I was brought to tears. I knew then that this would be the song that I would like to be played in my funeral. After all, Funerals are not for the living. I want the people I love and the people who loved me to be comforted by this song and through God’s message.
If you have not heard of this song, listen to it and be blessed.
Here’s the lyrics:
The phrase that I really like in the song is… “Mercies in Disguise.” Last Sunday, a pastor reminded us what’s the difference between mercy and grace. Grace is a gift. It is something we do not deserve, something that is given freely. Mercy is when you do something wrong and you deserve punishment but you do not get it or you are pardoned. Grace is when we did not do anything but we still receive something.
What I liked about that phrase is that it reminded me how God loves us… that most of the time, we sin greatly, intentional or unintentionally, we sin. We think that a trial or discipline is God punishing us but what we do not know is that we deserve severe and gruesome punishments for what we’ve done. We cry out to Him thinking that the trials that we experience are His punishments, we think that it is so much that we cannot bear it but little do we know, we deserve more. We had it easy.
I had it easy. And in the face of trial, I crumbled. I said things I was not supposed to say, things I said out of spite and bitterness. I lost my focus in the face of adversity and I am ashamed for not trusting in the Lord. I have forgotten how He loves. I have forgotten that His mercies are new every morning. I became a Pharisee. I became righteous and God broke me. I was stubborn and I was so quick to judge people that I have forgotten to look into my heart. I do not deserve any of this, I deserve to die but God… His unfailing love… chose to save me.
God gave me hope.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
God has ways of comforting us and He gives it in perfect timing. There will be countless of trials and there is not s doubt that we will fail Him again. It’s in our nature. We might beat our chest and be ashamed to face Him. Know this, dear reader…
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.
- Lamentations 3:22-27
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him… I prayed for a small group… He answered me with time. I pray that the Lord would help me utilize the time He has given me with wisdom. I thank the Lord for my mother, for understanding my heart that even though my decision would affect our expenses and my dream… she still encouraged me, she said to not lose hope and to always pray to our God in Jesus' Christ’s name. She said that trials may come but the Lord would never leave us, just keep on holding and not to let go of His grip.
I have friends and family that God uses to comfort me, what more can I ask for? Most of all, I have a God who is greater than anything in this world, a God whose love is indescribable, a God whose power is unfathomable, a God who never tires of loving me…
What more can I ask for?